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December 28, 2013
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    we smile at the universe with ashes on our lips. there are boats inside of our veins. the blood is a metaphor and, hell, i can't even begin to write about her. 
    i could tell any story. if i wanted, i could write a novel about my mother and how beautiful she was a sixteen or i could make a lighthouse a person, but i cannot tell you the color or her eyes. it's that that i don't know it; i just can't tell you. it's not a color, it's a place.
    her eyes are like Chicago. there's life and lights and lakes, but there's a sadness, too. even so, it's a happy kind of sad. the kind that gives you hope. 
    sometimes when i'm high i think that i'm dead, because i get numb. not physically senseless, but just mentally dazed. i forget where i am. i like that. it seems sometimes like i am a place, i am all the street signs and the cracks in the road and badly painted house down the way. see the really faint dot on the map? that's me. scribbled in by passerby because i'm just somewhere to go. but she is an eraser. she makes me new, undiscovered. i like that. see, it sometimes feels like i've been sought out, i've been used and dirtied and i'm ugly. 
    relapse has been a tease lately. there's something ruthless and stunning about metal; totally different kind of high. you come off the cloud and there are pieces of you on the floor. after i'm done, i always know where i am. i hate that part. i am more than a dirty bathroom floor in the cold part of an empty house. 
    and she is so much more than a sloppy thought just before i fall asleep, and she is more than a jumble of letters that will fade before they are mailed; it's a shame i might never tell her. 
    that is my fault. i can accept that. and maybe one day i can change it, but until then, i will try and put her into words and i will walk myself through life, because that is what i do. 
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Everything about her eyes in this. Just wonderful.
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:iconsolis-ortus:
solis-ortus Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Student Writer
thank you :)
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:iconepickblonde666:
EpickBlonde666 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is quite possibly one of the most beautiful things I have ever read and I thank you ever so much for writing it.
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:iconsolis-ortus:
solis-ortus Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student Writer
oh my gosh, thank you! :heart:
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<333
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:iconsolis-ortus:
solis-ortus Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Student Writer
:heart:
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:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is really well done
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:iconsolis-ortus:
solis-ortus Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Student Writer
thank you!
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:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Anytime
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:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello :wave:
You have been featured in my weekly dA love for everyone! article.
Have a nice day and Happy New Year! :dalove:
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